“Sometimes when we think we are free, we are confined in the narrow place where we forget love. To remedy this, we make an effort to create awareness, to see what is there to see, to see what we love, and to allow ourselves to be aware of the loving.” ~ Deena Metzger
This may or may not come as a shock to you, but I have to admit how I am feeling right now. Okay. Here it is: Life is real hard. Hard as rocks. After storms and tragedies, there is calm and perhaps joy. Then something else comes up. Back to the storm. This is the cycle. Beauty, danger, love, heartbreak. This is what life is. I’m not saying this to be a downer. The wheel’s always turning. We never know what may happen next – and that’s a good thing. Miracles are possible.
In the pagan group I help facilitate at a women’s prison here in Oregon, there was a woman who had a tattoo on each arm. One arm read “Hope for the best.” The other, “Expect the worst.” When I first saw this tattoo I thought it somewhat cynical, or, at best, realistic. Not really a fan of realism, I like to entertain ideas that anything is possible.
But life is real hard. In recent years, I’ve been thrown for too many painful loops to count. You too, huh? To remind myself that things can always get better, I got a tattoo on my own arm which reads “Everything she touches changes.” Now I see now that the pair of tattoos on this prisoner’s arm was saying the same thing.
There’s a widely quoted phrase about how the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. The truth that everything changes really pissed me off at first. I wanted to believe in an endpoint, a time when everything would settle down. I wanted to believe in progress, which is the idea of things always getting better and better. In this land of capitalism and oversimplified Christianity, I too wanted a payoff for all the years of trying to crawl out of my own ignorance, greed, and delusion. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but there are days when I still crave this promised land. Now I’ve come to see that this craving is just another form of ignorance, greed, and delusion. The more I push my own will and agenda in order to “get somewhere,” the more I trap myself in suffering.
There are many different lenses through which to view life here on Earth. Some belief systems call life a test or a trial, or even a battleground between the forces of good and evil. Others see this mortal coil as an illusion, something to be transcended. But here’s another way to see it: a wild love story.
In any wild love story, there are multitudes of disappointing encounters; there may be scenes of violence and even cruelty; and yes, many moments when you think your heart will not bear the breaking.
Then there are also these: nights of tenderness underneath moonlight and stars; glimpses of unspeakable beauty out of the corner of your eye; ecstatic heart beating thunder shaking longing met with a smile; words of love spoken into the depth of you.
Choose the story this month, which will be a doozy of a month, and let it be one of wild love. Expect the worst; terrible things might happen. (They happen to everyone. No one out there has escaped the profound pain of being here on Earth.) And simultaneously hope for the best; miracles rise up around us every day. (The sweetness of life comes when you least expect it, surprising you with grace, and sometimes only because you decided to look for it, because you called to it like a stray animal you found scrounging in the alley.)
This month brings us the eclipses season. A Lunar Eclipse Full Moon in Aries on October 8; a Solar Eclipse New Moon in Scorpio on October 23. Add to this a Mercury retrograde in the signs of Scorpio and Libra from the 4th to the 25th. Add to this the continuing tension from Pluto and Uranus, plus a Grand Trine in Fire with the Moon, Mars, and Jupiter. Shake it all up. Acting out the astrology of October, whether consciously or not, will go something like this:
- We think we are free, but there are too many obstacles of our own self-image, self-importance, or self-defeat for us to be free. Grudgingly or happily, we face any enemies in the mirror.
- We long for others to see us clearly, and yet resist looking foolish in order to let this occur. Then we look foolish anyway and decide to tell the truth about the whole matter.
- We move around in a flurry of activity – some of it exceedingly fun, some of it horrendously difficult – and at the end of the month say to ourselves, “What was that all about?” and then sit down and meditate on it.
- We argue, disagree, and become confused with loved ones. Then we take a deep breath, and try to see things from their point of view.
- We find that the chains of love can break. After the initial pain and loss, we discover how to replace chains with invisible strands of energy which sustain and propel our lives rather than holding us back.
Call to love. The more I learn, the less I know anything about anything other than love. Call out to it! Be true to it. Serve love and beam its light back out of your eyes. If you can remember this all month long – to serve love and beam it to yourself and others – then it may just become an emanation which naturally pours out of you. And that will change everything.
With That Moon Language
Everyone you see, you say to them, "Love me."
Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise someone would call the cops.
Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one who lives with a full moon in each eye
that is always saying,
with that sweet moon language,
what every other eye in this world is dying to hear?