I’ve been away. I’ve been down in the underworld, and I’m not sure that I’ve returned. But I am beginning to turn back to life. I broke my leg on my birthday in the summer of 2017, which brought me face to face with the frailty of the human body and a long road of recovering from surgery and mending bones. The death of my father in late December later that year pulled me into the heart of grief. All this, coupled with an impending divorce, helped create the circumstances for my ongoing major depressive disorder to rear its ugly head with more force. At the beginning of spring, I ended up in the hospital for an intensive outpatient treatment program. I would go all day, 3 days a week, and learn strategies for dealing with anxiety and depression. I stayed in the program until my insurance ran out, which was about five weeks. But I was not better yet. The summer saw more emotional disturbance and major anxiety. Quite honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on living if this was to be my lot.
Then, just a week ago, the thought started arriving in my brain, You are getting better. The thought came with some trepidation, because depression makes you believe it is the only truth. To get better would be a betrayal of the truth, which is unimaginable suffering. The thought-patterns are well-worn grooves meant to support collapse and contraction. The thought-patterns do not want wellness, but disease, and they’ll do anything to convince you that you are wrong if you think, You are getting better.
But I took a shot and decided to believe that new voice, fragile as it was. And I knew it was time to return to seeing clients. I am coming back to life, while simultaneously letting go of expectations that my ordeal is coming to an end. I don’t know if I’m better. But I’m going to try to be.
I’m excited to see clients again, to be able to offer some solace and guidance in these times which seem hellbent on grinding us down. The current political situation is distressing, and many of you are in pain from personal upheavals as well. I’m ready to start offering this wonderful tool called astrology to help us navigate these changes and our world. My schedule will be minimal at first, so I can give my full attention without depleting myself too quickly. But it is my hope to be able to see anyone who’s been waiting for me to get back into the game. I thank you for your patience during this challenging year.
I’ve written a new forecast to celebrate the return of the Goddess from her own underworld journey. Venus stations direct on November 16, and will soon appear in the east as the morning star. This signaled to the ancients that the Goddess Ishtar or Inanna had come back to life, purified and renewed during the retrograde cycle when She disappears from view for six weeks. As the Goddess returns, I follow in her footsteps, hopeful that she will guide me back to a life of sweet beauty and profound truths. May we all find our way through and discover the resiliency to summon forth our unique contributions to the turning of our times.
Venus retrograde and direct
For the past six weeks, we’ve been guided into deep waters by Venus’ retrograde dance in Scorpio. Mythically, this can be seen as a time of cleansing and renewal, in which the Goddess descended to the underworld to learn the sacred mystery of death. Astrologically, it is a time to reflect on the issues ruled by this planet, namely relationships and values. During this reflection, we face many unwelcome truths about the nature of love, but also get clearer about what we want to cultivate in order to bring more sweetness and beauty to life. In going through Scorpio’s waters, the ride has been bumpy as hell. Collectively, we are facing the twin shadows of misogyny and racism, erupting into violence. Personally, we are asked to re-unite with the discarded parts of ourselves, to be unafraid of the darkness within us. Some of the darkness is healing and nourishing, while some of it needs to be transformed in Scorpio’s compost pile.
As Venus moves direct, we put our reflection into action. Ask yourself, what were the lessons about love I received in the past six weeks? Then, as Venus makes her way back through Libra and Scorpio, consider taking action to weave these lessons into the fabric of your life. On January 8th, Venus will be leaving Scorpio and give us a break from a lot of the heaviness of the past year.
Jupiter into Sagittarius
On November 9, Jupiter enters its home sign of Sagittarius, where it will remain for one year. The previous year, as Jupiter journeyed through Scorpio, we were confronting a lot of painful truths about our world, including the rise of nationalism, racism, and misogyny. Jupiter is the truth-seeker, and Scorpio offers us all the truths, even uncomfortable or terrifying ones. But ultimately, they needed to be illuminated so that we can create the necessary changes.
As Jupiter moves into Sagittarius, we can welcome in the lighter energy of this sign. All the unearthing of the past year can now lead to a reorganization of our moral codes and ethics. Jupiter in Sagittarius moves like wildfire, so it’s important that we’ve sought the bigger picture or looked at issues from all the angles before we take action. This combination can also bring hubris and exaggeration, so it’s all the more important that you consider how to take the high ground with humility.
It’s a great year for setting intentions. Much like pulling the Wheel of Fortune card and Temperance together, there’s a big opportunity here to mix your magic up to make reality a lot more exciting and fulfilling. What are you dreaming of? Don’t be afraid to keep it simple or to start small. We have a whole year to work with this energy, after all.
Ceres conjunct Venus
The asteroid Ceres will be helping us harvest the lessons of the Venus retrograde cycle as it enters Scorpio on November 12. Ceres is the Earth Mother, the Goddess of the Grain, but her symbol is a sickle, and as such she also represents death and the endings of cycles. She reaps. So, what were those seeds we planted? As you prepare for the winter, try to remember the things that bring you gladness, that fill your heart with joy. Ceres in Scorpio has more hard lessons for us, but she also carries with her the promise of renewal, if we can recall the life we most want. Make a list of your favorite things, people, and places. Spend more time with each. Deepen your connections to what you love, and you will harvest beauty.